10 Things to Embrace (& Ditch) by the Time You Turn 40

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Turning 40 is a milestone that often prompts women to freak out. Why though? It’s just a number, friend.

When I turned 40, I was so happy to be alive after a life-threatening illness, but I know that (fortunately) not all women have that experience. But really, why is 40 such a big deal?

Well, it’s not, I promise. HOWEVER, there is a great benefit!

By the time you’ve walked this Earth for that long, you have amassed a certain amount of sage wisdom that tells you it’s okay to let certain things go and embrace the things you actually love (even if they’re not conventional). This is definitely a time where you know yourself well enough to stop fighting things (like keeping crappy friends in your life just because).

So stop freaking out about the numbers on your cake and instead enjoy the benefits that come from your life experience. Here are 10 things I noticed/loved/embraced by the time I hit 40.

(On a related note, I also outlined the healthiest habits you need at 40 here.)

1. Guilty Pleasures.

Embracing your guilty pleasures is just a fun part of life. Whether it's indulging in a cheesy romance novel, binge-watching reality TV, or enjoying a decadent dessert, allowing yourself to enjoy the things you love without guilt can be incredibly liberating. These little treats are a bright spot in an often hectic world, which can help your stress levels and boost your mood.

My personal guilty pleasure is reality TV (particularly Bravo). I record the new housewives then watch the next morning when I work out.

Pro tip there: having something fun to look forward to in the morning helps you get out of bed more easily!

2. Some Cooking. (Specifically a handful of healthy vegetable recipes you like and have mastered.)

Eating well is crucial for feeling and looking your best at any age!

By mastering a few healthy vegetable recipes that you genuinely enjoy, you're setting yourself up for long-term success in maintaining a nutritious diet by getting your daily produce. Vegetables are packed with essential vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants that support optimal health and can help prevent chronic diseases.

Plus, this might open you up to experimenting with new veggie/spice combos and recipes. But even if it doesn’t, you know you have a few tried and true go-to recipes for days where you’re a little short of your produce goal.

3. Not Drinking at Dinners Out.

Yes, a dinner out is a great occasion to indulge, but the point here is that you don’t have to have one. Sometimes you just want to eat out, enjoy your friends, not cook, or whatever. Alcohol doesn’t need to be a part of it.

I’m just pointing this out because it’s kind of the social norm to share some wine with friends, but stop and think whether you actually want the wine or if you’re doing it because it’s what you’re used to doing.

By opting not to drink at dinners out, you’ll be able to more fully savor the meal and connect better with your friends. Plus, you’ll feel much better the next morning. Because by the time you hit 40, chances are you’ll feel even one glass of wine the next day.

On a side note, I also wrote about all my favorite alcohol alternatives on Amazon (I tried everything so you don’t have to).

4. What You Consider “Working Out.”

Taking care of your body becomes increasingly important as you age. We know that regular exercise is one of the most effective ways to maintain physical health, manage weight, and reduce the risk of chronic diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, and osteoporosis.

But too often we think “I hate running” or “yoga is boring.” I’m with you there.

Then find something you like to do.

Do you have some podcasts you love? Try walking in the morning while you listen to them (this is a go-to for me.) You are looking to make fitness a lifestyle (EASILY) here!

For strength, try a barre class (my favorite, and this lets you try it with a free trial) or just order some weights on Amazon and cue up a YouTube workout.

Working out at home is a great way to be sure you do it because a. there are no excuses, b. no one is looking at you, and c. you can try all the new things and pivot if you hate something new!

I will highly encourage you to do some strength training since as we hit 40 we’ll start to lose muscle mass. So find something you enjoy doing – that way you’ll stick with it!

5. If You Hate Something, Don’t Do It.

It sounds stupid to even say, but how many of us keep doing things we hate??

Life is too short to waste time on things that bring you no joy or fulfillment (I’m ignoring obligations like laundry, working, etc. of course). But beyond your responsibilities, if you don’t like something, you don’t have to do it.

For example, years ago I started reading my way through the Modern Library’s Top 100 Books. By my third try at Ulysses I gave up because it just wasn’t worth it (sorry, James Joyce). I still love to read, but I read things I truly enjoy (mysteries and espionage). Why bother suffering through hundreds of pages? Just to say I did it? Pffft, not worth it.

The same goes for you: don’t stick with hobbies, etc. that you don’t like to do. That’s time taken away from something you’d enjoy. Which leads to #6…

6. Pick Up the Hobby You’ve Always Wanted to Try.

Life is also too short to put off doing something you might really like!

Whether it's painting, ballet, playing a musical instrument, or learning a new language, picking up the hobby you've always wanted to try can make you feel like you conquered something, and it might be something you’re good at!

Personally, I always wanted to learn Italian (my nonna’s native language) and started studying it on-and-off in 2017. That led to a trip to Italy that changed my life! (And yes, I needed it in order to communicate in her village because there was very little English there.)

Hobbies provide a creative outlet, a source of relaxation, and an opportunity to learn and grow. Don't wait for the "perfect" time or circumstances—start today!

7. Lose Toxic Friends.

Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people is essential always, but especially as you get older, and life gets more real.

Toxic friendships can drain your energy, undermine your confidence, and leave you just feeling awful about yourself.

By finally losing toxic friends, you're creating space in your life for healthier, more fulfilling relationships, people who support you, rejoice with you, and grieve with you. This can absolutely be a difficult and uncomfortable process, but ultimately, it's worth it.

As my favorite aunt used to say “if you consistently walk away from someone feeling badly about yourself, that person isn’t your friend.”

I guarantee you’ll feel better after you rid your life of the toxic friendships.

8. Going to Bed Early.

How many people do you know who get enough sleep? Are you constantly talking about how you don’t get enough sleep? The easiest way to change that is to go to bed earlier.

We all know that adequate sleep is essential for overall health and well-being, we often prioritize other things.

Here’s the thing though: if you turn in early and wake up early, chances are you’ll be more productive in the morning and can knock off more to-do’s when you’re fresh and caffeinated than when you’re exhausted and watching TV.

Not a morning person? I used to not be either, but then I eased into it and created a morning routine that I adore. THAT is the key to becoming a morning person: having something to look forward to when you get out of bed (here are my best tips)!

9. Being Alone.

Enjoying your own company is a huge gift. You’re awesome, so you should like being with you!

Spending time alone allows you to recharge your batteries, reflect on your thoughts and feelings, and not have to feel “on” and entertaining.

Learning to be alone with your own thoughts and feelings forces you to deal with things and not suppress things, which ultimately will make you happier and less burnt out.

Also, sometimes it’s exhausting to be “on” around other people (and I say that as an extrovert)!

Learning to enjoy being alone means you actually like yourself and can deal with issues you might otherwise try to avoid.

10. Pamper Your Liver.

This is an extension of #3, but the older you get, the more you’ll appreciate your liver.

Often we don’t think about our livers unless we have a hangover, but it has way more things to do! It is the first in line to store nutrients and start the fat burning enzyme process in addition to filtering out junk. So when your liver is healthy, you are healthier overall.

There are plenty of ways to prioritize liver health (I’ve written a LOT about it including here), including foods to limit, foods to load up on, and general lifestyle habits (exercise is a good choice!).

Want better skin, better sleep, better blood work results, less body fat? Pamper your liver!

(And I am including here my landing page with alllllll the things I’ve wrtten about liver health after spending Christmas 2020 in the hospital with a liver virus and condition that almost killed me.)

There you have it – the 10 things I decided to ditch or embrace once I turned 40. (If I missed any of your favorites, let me know.)